Facebook: our own personal brag book?

I was reading the Vancouver Sun this morning in my favourite local coffee shop (The Laughing Bean, it's awesome) - and stumbled across an article on Facebook. I found this metaphor humorous... and very true:

[on comparing Facebook to our mothers]
"There it is, monitoring our every move, always watching over our shoulder and puttering around the edges of our personal space, trying to improve us with yoga and nutritional supplements, telling us where to shop and eat and play, always wanting to change our look and always, always introducing us to new friends we don't always want to know, much less date.
"Even when it's off, it's on, working away in the shadows, moulding our profiles and, like a yenta on a matchmaking mission, constantly nagging. Join this. Like this. Post this. Link to that. It's a Nosy Parker, disrespectful of privacy and barging into our rooms without knocking.
"Like our moms, Facebook knows too much about us, and shares too much of our privacy with perfect strangers. It's one thing to voluntarily be an open book, the architect of our personal brag books, but it's another to have your mother in charge of marketing and distribution, to have your photos of the family reunion instant fodder for target advertising."

Maybe I would have agreed with this mother-Facebook metaphor when I was 15, but now I just find it hilarious.

What stuck out to me is this: "It's one thing to voluntarily be an open book, the architect of our personal brag books..."

Brag books. WHOA. Again, a total conviction of something that's been festering in my heart for a number of weeks now. How we (I) only post our accomplishments, attainments, perfectly instagrammed photos, to what? Prove that we're cool human beings? That only great things happen in our lives? That we're worthy human beings because we got a new couch, are on the front of a magazine or the sun is shining in Vancouver (just scrolling through my last few days' worth of posts).

I'm convicted, I'm guilty, and I'm addicted. Addicted to only showing the great.

So let's be honest.
Also this week?
I was a crappy wife.
My house got filthy and I didn't clean it.
I'm sometimes unmotivated and do things just at face value.
I prefer to have days off than to work... often. (Lazy!)
I'm terribly undisciplined when it comes to prioritizing things like sitting and being still with God.
I got disappointed with people. Then I realized I am disappointed in myself, that we're all sucky humans, and then I stop judging people and am thankful for grace for my (and their) sucky-ness.

Yet all you saw was a sweet couch, my bike commute to work and Vancouver sunshine (which was 1/7 days this week probably). Blegh.

So, all that said... I don't know what to do about this.
Is social media somewhere where we only share the good stuff? And the real/crappy stuff is reserved for the close-real-life people in our lives?
Is Facebook a facade for convincing others (and ourselves?) that we have everything together? ...which would be reinforcing a lie because we sooooo do not.
Is Face[brag]book a breeding ground for pride?

Maybe this is just a weakness for me.
Maybe it's not bad to post things and share the little gifts and joys in your life, from the new couch to the sunny weather to the urban bike ride.
Maybe I need to check my motives every. single. time I post anything. 

Straight Truth

So thankful for scripture to cut straight through my confusion and emotions and madness - and make truth clear. These words are what is carrying me through this weekend.

I have been crucified with Christ.
It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.
And the life I now live in the flesh, I live in faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave his life for me.
-Galatians 2:20

All of us who have been baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death.
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death,
in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the father,
we too might walk in the newness of life.
We know that our old self was crucified with him
in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing
so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.
For the one who died has been set free from sin. 
-Romans 6: 3-4, 6-7

And if Christ was not raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.
-OR-
[Since Christ has been raised, your faith has purpose and we are free from our sins!]
-1 Corinthians 15:17

In him we have redemption through his blood,
the forgiveness of our trespasses according to the riches of his grace,
which he lavished onto us,
in all wisdom and insight
making known to us the mystery of his will,
according to his purpose,
which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time,
to unite all things to him, things in heaven and things on earth.
-Ephesians 1:7-10

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above,
where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.
Set you minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 
For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
-Colossians 3:1-3

Let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely,
and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith,
who for the joy that was set before him
endured the cross, despising the shame,
and is seating at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself,
so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
-Hebrews 12 1-3

I'm a Woman of Moderate Talent(s)

I have recently come across the parable that Jesus told about talents. In that time, a talent was a measurement of mass - one talent was approximately 60kg.

As read in both Matthew 25 and Luke 19, a master goes away on a long trip, but before going away, gives three of his servants different amounts of money to invest. To one, he gives five talents, to the second he gives two talents and to the third, one talent, each according to his own ability. The first man invests his five talents and when the master returns, has doubled the original amount. The second servant does the same. The third servant is afraid to take the risk of investment, and buries the talent in the ground. He has nothing more to show his master other than the original amount. After rewarding the first two servants for their investment returns, the master shamed the third, called him lazy and wicked, and gave the money to one of the other servants.

Parables always have a story within the story, right? Here's what I'm learning from this one.

We're ALL God's servants. And he's gifted us each with talents, gifts, abilities and capacities. We are called to invest these. To use our gifts and to cultivate the Kingdom of God. To invest with anticipation of a return of people coming to Jesus and growing in Him. This is part of being faithful to Him.

Got it.
But first, the question must be asked, "Am I a five, two or one talent servant??"
We have to be careful not to over-invest, and we cannot fearfully/obliviously under-invest.

I know some five talent people. They're amazing! I cannot fathom living their lives [successfully]. You know, those families who have five kids, have jobs, a garden, volunteer, always have their home open, are generous with their time and attention, are genuine, focused, they cook and bake and can and make homemade baby food, use fabric diapers, and still have time to drink tea and write a blog. Haha. WHOA. Just writing that raises my anxiety level.

I am a three talent kind of woman
And I'm okay with this.

I am continually learning what gifts, talents and capacity God has given me, and it is grace and joy-bearing to live these out!
Serving and loving my husband by keeping home, investing in him and our marriage and building foundation for our family - my heart is full.
Encouraging, teaching, caring for, cultivating hearts... 1:1 or in small groups - oh sings my soul.
Being part of a team where I can be given an idea or a task and run with it - glory, glory, hallelujah.
Give me a few hours, a topic to write and inspire on - yes please.
Investing in the lives of friends and family through genuine, honest conversation, sharing empathy, support and life - joyous moments.

By God's grace, I can invest this talent. And through the last few years, I've learned my need for quiet, for rest, for stillness. If I don't have those moments every day, I drop my talent. I am at overcapacity. I'm investing more than I have, which is evidence of poor stewardship, of foolishness, of pride. This is what makes me a three-talent-woman.

Sometimes I over-invest because I've shifted my eyes off of Jesus, and onto five talent people that I have in my life. I need to remember what Jesus said about the master in the parable; he gave the five/two/one talents to the servants each according to his own ability. God designs our abilities. His designs are always perfect. More talent/capacity isn't better. It is best to recognize my talent, and carry it well. More or less than what God has given me isn't bad. He gives what what he has designs us to have. Be at peace with this. 

If I have three talents, here is how they are divided right now.
1. One talent for investing in Andrew and home.
2. One talent for investing in friends, family and community.
3. One talent for my job, for investing in volunteers and youth.
IN. THAT. ORDER. 
This is important as I will instinctively flip that order. This is the order that God has designed me to invest. If I drop any one of these, another area suffers. If I over-invest in any one of these, another area suffers. Balance-balance-balance! This take great wisdom, and great grace.

The master returned. He celebrated the first two servants who took the risk to invest. He shamed and rejected the third who was lazy and fearful. It takes risk to put ourselves out there. It takes work to gain a reward. God knows what we are capable of through the gifts he's given us. Why do we shy away? Be BOLD. Work HARD.

The reward? Kingdom growth and treasures in Heaven. Glory glory, hallelujah.  
------
Some questions to think about:
- how many talents has God given and designed me to invest?
- what are my gifts and abilities?
- what is my capacity?
- am I over-investing? Under-investing? Why?
- am I over-investing in one area and abandoning other areas?

Happy Spring, Happy Cycling!

Summer (spring&fall) biking is one of my favourite things. You can zip around this city so fast on two wheels and a leg muscle.

I decided on Monday to make the 7.5km commute to work by bicycle.  I'm thankful for designated 'bike streets' and that vehicle drivers are used to sharing the road with bicyclists. When we last lived in the city, I took 10th Ave across the city and back each day to and from work. I'm hoping to bike to work as regularly as possible this spring and summer! For those who don't live in Vancouver, the City has designated side streets all over the city as 'bike streets'; cars can still drive and park on them but since they are residential and narrow, the vehicle traffic is low.

MAN. I am out of bicycle shape! Vancouver hills kicked my butt today. That said, my current bike is too small for me, which makes the uphill killer. I've already been on Criagslist looking for a new bike.

Anyway, I enjoy riding my bike for a number of reasons:
1. Exercise.
2. It's fun.
3. Free, easy parking.
4. Speedy.
5. I can get places in the city that a car cannot.
6. I get to see the city up close and personal.
7. Time to think and reflect.

And glory, glory, today was sunny. Thought I'd share my ride home random thoughting.
-----
One mamma has a green stroller,
another mamma's is grey and pink.
First mamma's is probably green in material,
eco-friendly and lifetime warranty, several hundred dollars.
Home owners, business owners, granite countertop and diamond rings.
Second Mamma's from Walmart bought from welfare, double seater for her two babies,
daddy gone, on her own, starting a new life for her family.
Oh the contrasts.

Commercial Drive,
you have turned so hipster!
Beards and skinnies, turquoise tights, thick rims.
Not so gritty; feeling polished.
Hydro boxes with graphics and every third place a trendy restaurant.
Fashion and status, for people who don't buy fashion or want status.

Sunshine.
Hard, uphill work.
Kids on skateboards,
full parks.
Trees are blossoming.
Summer is coming.
:)

Vancouver Love: Granville Island

 There are so many gems in Vancouver. My weekend was highlighted by a fantastic Saturday morning at Granville Island. On a sunny day, this is place in my Top 10 Vancouver Places.

Before European settlers arrived, Granville Island was simple a series of sandbars that Aboriginal communities used creatively for fishing. When the settlers arrived, and eventually the railway, False Creek was dredged, deepened for large boats, and the flats under the new Granville Street bridge were developed for industry: logging, sawmills and anything and everything to do with industrial machining. A thriving industry spot employing 1200 people took a huge hit with The Depression, factories and warehouses closed, and a shanty town emerged. After a Typhoid scare and a grisley murder, the City of Vancouver evicted all Granville Island residents and the island sat until the WW2 began and the industry market was well on the mend. After the war, the demand for industrial output declined, and industry began to fall on Granville Island for the last time. Factories sat empty, would burn to the ground and the Island became an urban industrial wasteland.

The city made the decision to transform the [prime location] wasteland into a public space of parkland, housing and public exhibition space. There's a huge public market, art and unique items everywhere and lots of public outdoor space along False Creek. The roads still display old cobblestone and original rail tracks. When the sky is blue and the sun is out, Granville Island buzzes of good food, unique people, creative art and serves as a model for development: how to transform empty industry wasteland into a  thriving urban community space.

With that said!
Saturday was sunny!
The breeze was stiff!

It was bright, crisp and PERFECT to be at Granville Island. Here is some photo evidence of this great place!

Entering the "Island" from under Granville Bridge

Fresh produce!

Paper-Ya: my favourite Vancouver stationary shop 

A very popular deli - taking a number is required!

Specialty chocolate

On the outside docks: Granville Bridge to downtown

Love our city. 

Visits with Bec

Fresh fish anyone?

A slice of tusk from a prehistoric wooly mammoth

Okay I have to share more about this. The above shot is a legit piece of wooly mammoth tusk. It was found, fossilized, in the Yukon. It looks like wood, but it so, so heavy. A local artist takes this stuff and makes the most amazing jewellery! I wasn't allowed to take photos, but my favourite piece was a necklace which displayed a polished rectangle of tusk that had the silhouette of a tree intricately cut out of the tusk chip. Very cool... 'only' $72! Yikes! But amazing. 

Bakery delights

Homemade pasta

If anyone ever wants to go, I am automatically in! Love this place. 

:)

Love our city!

New Apartment - PHOTOS!

As promised yesterday, here are some photos of our becoming-complete apartment! 

I must add that every single piece of our furniture was either given to us (thank you Jesse & Tena!), found on Craigslist or at a thrift store! We are big fans of used stuff! 

Enjoy! :)

Front entry

Kitchen

Our Bedroom

Bathroom

Dining + Living room (future dining table leaning against wall)

Very open concept!

Ok, I just really like our bookshelves so far!

LOVE my wallhanging from India :)

High up ceilings + big windows, hooray! 

The plaid wonder is a sofa bed folks. 

And we love guests. For real!

Come on over! 

A Good Place.

Content. 

I'm really finding myself at a good place these days.

Life has gone from travelling with a backpack,
... to camping out in someone else's home,
... while attempting to start up life just in time for an un-routined Christmas season,
... to adjusting back to being a part of Inner Hope community,
... to orienting myself to new job responsibilities
... to reintegrating into a new, but familiar church community,
... and remembering a city that I used to know like the back of my hand,
... to getting possession of our new apartment,
... but spending a few days split between the sublet and the new place,
... to living in the new place, but without things from a dresser to dish soap to a shoe rack...

ALAS! I am THRILLED to say, that after six months of on-the-go, I am finally feeling settled. And, for this once-vegabond, this is a really good thing.

Twice, in the last two days, I've said aloud to Andrew, "I really like life right now."
And I do.
Pour que?

1. I love Vancouver. I love the city, the culture, the mountains and ocean, the multiculturalism, the geography, the food, the coffee, the vibe, the variety, the wooden homes, the gritty eastside, comfortable westside and the glorious north shore.

2. I have a few solid friendships that are still flourishing here in Vancouver (more so now that I am here).
There are a few new friendships that I'm really excited about!

3. I love our church community and how God is moving in East Van. Authentic, honest, humble, based on truth, simple regular people doing life for the glory of God, proclaiming Jesus in this city.

4. I really, really love my job. It is a beautiful combination of working with youth and just walking alongside life with them as a positive, healthy adult... and the other piece is instilling and sharing the passion with volunteers who are also working with and leading the youth. I love the organization I work with. I love my coworkers. I am excited about what the future holds for Inner Hope. I love these kids. They are fantastic, and I am honoured to be earning/have earned their trust and to be doing life with them.

5. I love our home! (photos to come soon!) It's like this little homemaker has made its place in my happy heart. There is lots of natural light. The ceilings are high (a major feat for East Van + our budget)! It is becoming cozy. There are picture frames out. I have a new tea kettle. I like our furniture - Craigslist for the win! It's comfy. We have room to host people. Andrew reassembled my spinning spice rack. I am cooking again.

6. Andrew. Sharing life and home with him is the most wonderful. On our recent days off, we've made our way to the north shore to get back on our favourite hiking trails. He is incredibly romantic, as shown by a beautiful Valentines evening. We've had fun setting up house and life here in Vancouver. We are continuing to learn grace and love and servanthood for each other. We are continuing to learn how to work through differences and conflict. We are continuing to enjoy each other and our marriage.

7. I've had a good number of Sarah-days that fuel on this introverted heart. This makes me energetic. I feel like my true, true self. I am refreshed. Refined. I journal, read, reflect... clean, shop, organize, make home. These are good days.

8. I've been regular with spending time with the Lord. Time reading my Bible in the morning over breakfast, breaths of prayer throughout the day, repentance and deep healing, discussion with fine people about life and truth. Practicing thankfulness; receiving joy. God is good.

I am breathing praise, folks.
And it is good.
I am happy.

Transit through Vancouver's Eastside

I love the view of the city I get when on the bus. Driving down Powell, an area many people avoid because of the nature of the neighbourhood; I am given hope by all the beautiful organizations that exist to help the people of the neighbourhood. 

The old Chinese couple that hold each others hands as they clench their umbrellas, staying dry in Chinatown. 

The old man who gets on the bus with the cane, who smiles at the young girl in her grandmother's arms, receiving so much joy from her innocence. 

The bus driver who shows compassion on that same old man who took 30 seconds to make his way to his seat; the bus sat still til he was seated. 

After only begin back in Vancouver for a month, I've already learned to appreciate the sunshine in a BIG way when it comes out. The city sparkles. Today is one of those days. After days of fog, sunshine is glorious. 

There is so much beauty in this world, in this East Vancouver. Thank you lord for these gifts today. I love this city.

In preparation for disappointment

My last post, paired with a recent reading in Matthew, have spurred this life lesson that I'm learning.

The jist of my last post was this: being thankful produces joy.

Well that's all and well and easy when life is breezy, but what about when people disappoint you, your efforts are not fruitful, when your hopes are dashed?

Jesus. Son of God. Savior of the world. I would think that his ministry was pretty effective; was he ever disappointed in people? In his efforts? Does it ever talk in the Bible about Jesus being disappointed?

In Matthew 11, Jesus talks about Korazin, Bethsaida and Capernaum - three communities that he had visited, done miracles in and proclaimed truth. He then laments about how these communities "hadn't repented of their sins and turned to God". These are places that Jesus made an intentional effort to visit, reveal himself, invest and pray over. And they still turned away. From Jesus himself. 
Failed attempt.
Disappointment.
Hope, not availed.

The next paragraph in Matthew 11 Jesus prays to his father, a prayer of thanksgiving. He gives thanks to God for the way things had played out in Korazin, Bethsaida and Capernaum because he know God is sovereign and knows best. He also judges them, which, as Jesus, he has the right to. But this: In the face of failed efforts, of disappointment, Jesus is thankful. He knows that God is in control.

The next paragraph in Matthew 11 is Jesus saying this: "Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yolk upon you, let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yolk is easy to bear and my burden is light".

I can't ignore the irony here.
1. Jesus recognizes failure. People have let him down.
2. He chooses to be thankful and recognize God's sovereignty.
3. He identifies himself as the source of finding rest for souls. He calls the disappointed, the discouraged, the tired to himself - to his arms of rest and protection. He invites us to lay our burdens and disappointments at his feet, to let them go. 

This is am amazing lesson to learn from Christ - he practiced it so clearly here. To the tee!

How are you feeling disappointed these days?
Who are you worried about?
Who has let you down?
Where have you failed?

What gifts has God given you amidst these situations - what has his grace been?
What can you choose to be thankful for?
Find the freedom in the fact that no matter our failures, God is not held back. WE NEED TO TRUST THIS.

Have you gone to Jesus with these failures and disappointments?
Give Jesus your burdens.
Let him hold you up and guide you through this.

It is very interesting that I am learning this now - now, when life seems to be rolling steadily and honestly, very nicely. God is really rolling out the carpet for us in Vancouver right now, there hasn't been any stumbling blocks in this whole process of starting up life here. For this I am thankful... and also realistic - this will not last! HA!
Getting back into the work and life that we're in, with East Van youth and people in general, life in general, I know that great challenges and disappointments and failure are just around the corner. I am in the business of doing life with humans. This is inevitable. I AM going to sin, fail, screw up and effect people in this way. Others ARE going to sin, fail, screw up and this will effect me.
I want to keep this lesson at the forefront of my mind and heart. To be prepared and ready for, well, humanity and life... Which is full of brokeness and beauty, challenge, truth, love and growth.

Bring on life, in all its everythings. 

Learning Thankfulness: just the beginning.

I've begun reading 'One Thousand Gifts' by Ann Voskamp, a local hero in the church Andrew grew up in. This book is about learning how to live fully, right where you are. To be thankful for life as it is. And to flourish because of that.

Eucharisteo.

Is another word for thanksgiving.
The root word in it is 'charis' which means grace.
It also holds its derivative, the greek word 'chara' which means joy.

Joy - this deep need that we all have, to have a deep, rooted joy in life. Joy carries us through life. It sustains us when life is stormy. It motivates, directs, and gives purpose.

We all seek it - in our work, in our studies, in our organic eating and healthy living. In our family time, in our recreation. In our relationships, in music, in how we decorate, in our health, in our clothing style.

We are all pursuing joy.

"But where can I seize this holy grail of joy? Eucharisteo. I look back down at the word. Was this the clue to the quest of all most important? Deep chara joy is found only at the table of the euCHARisteo - the table of thanksgiving... is it that simple? Is the height of my chara joy dependent on the depth of my eucharisteo thanks?

"So as long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Whenever meaning now - wherever meaning here. The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountaintop experience. The joy wonder would be here! Here in the messy, piercing, ache of now, joy might be unbelievably possible!"

Charis. Grace - God is constantly giving us gifts. They're not always flashy.
Eucharisteo. Thanksgiving - We can choose to recognize these gifts and be thankful.
Chara. Joy - flows naturally from thankfulness.

A simple thought, right? Be thankful - have joy.
I'm looking forward to how this book plays out. I want to learn to be more thankful; to be thankful in the face of heartbreak, discouragement and disappointment. I think it's a habit that must be learned... must be practiced. I want to live life through a lens of grace, choosing to recognize and be thankful for God's gifts.

So here I go.
Today, I am thankful for:
- a body that functions perfectly without me having to consciously think of anything.
- a husband that prioritizes supporting his sister over being on time for something.
- God showing his faithfulness by providing perfectly for us as we transition to Vancouver.
- the prospect of a new friend.
- the fact that our culture values organization in terms of transportation and city layout.
- God speaking to my heart this morning of my sin, in a loving, convicting way.
- the ability to read.
- new life.
- warmth (currently in the form of slippers, after a very chilly dip in the ocean today!)
- God's faithfulness in transforming his children - a messy, up-and-down process, full of joy and challenges - I'm thankful that he is sovereign and knows the big picture. That I'm not responsible for saving people - HE is.
- pretty flowers on my kitchen table, a piece of art depicting God's character.
- honest, gritty life conversations over dinner with Andrew.
- memory foam mattress.
- home made biscuits.
- my body that starts to heal as soon as it is injured (sore knees from skiing last night!)
- a mind that thinks, a heart that feels, hands to work, senses to experience.