In church this morning, the pastor was talking about wisdom - an introduction to a series on Proverbs, which is a collection of wise phrases. No information, no statistics, no history, no stories. Simply life lessons that when taken heart to, contribute to a full life, in awe of Christ.
I had a few main thoughts this morning:
1. I don't want to just make a living, I want to make a LIFE.
When someone asks me how I'm doing, I don't want to respond with how my job is going - but this is a rut I have fallen into recently. Maybe I have pride in my job, and maybe I have simultaneously lost touch with pursuing a full life.
We're moving this September - first to travel in New Zealand for a a month and a half, then to our beloved city, Vancouver. I am SO excited! This, to me, is how I want to LIVE. It's funny seeing peoples' eyebrows raise in disbelief when we tell them we don't have work lined up. And honestly speaking, it freaks me out at times too! But, we WANT to live a life that is dependent on God providing for us! We want to see God move, not beat him to it every time. We are learning and choosing to be wise with life plans - not in a calculated way, but in seeking God and his plans for us, trusting him.
I love how God has created us with interests and desires, and invites us to pursue them! What a gift! He wants to give us gifts like adventure, risk, pleasure, beauty and fulfillment. I want to pursue these.
2. Narcissism: We are part of the most narcissistic culture in the world. We have web pages, facebooks and twitter accounts totally devoted to ourselves. We sense that we aren't important or worthy unless we are recognized by others. That's why our social media community is aware of every photo we snap, our weekend schedules and plans, from travel plans to dinner plans. We are afraid of being alone; we cannot exist without being recognized by someone reading and commenting on our news, or being "liked" with that infamous thumbs up icon.
I want to be secure. But I want to be solely secure by God and the identity he gives me, and by my close loved ones. I want to push back at this relationship facade that social media and our culture is heavily placing on us.
3. "Am I living to prove myself?" and "What is my motivation for living?"
This is what I was convicted of this morning (an am on a regular basis)! Working for the Waterloo School Board this year, for the first time, I've experienced the "rat race" - the constant pursual of better hours, better pay, more responsibility, more recognition. Is it ever appealing! I regularly found myself trying to please others, prove my skills and abilities, and I felt so caught. I want to be free to dance to the rhythm that God has put in me, in living out my gifts and talents, without the perceived critical eye of others, without the perceived expectations that I always sense.
I want to live to prove Jesus - to glorify Jesus. To love people, proclaim truth, protect and strengthen the weak and encourage others. I want to live wisely.
This is what I want my motivation for living to be.
4. "Fearing" God
A phrase that is mysterious and confusing - often to me. Why should I fear God - isn't he good? Gracious? Compassionate?
I was reminded of the terminology this morning: to fear God means to stand in awe and wonder of who is he. This leads to worship, which leads to solely pursuing God, which leads to wisdom, as we shake off the ways the world wants us to live (a self-absorbed life).
Jesus says, "I have come so that you may have life, and have it to the full."
I want a full life, full of love, beauty, intimacy, community, challenges, risks, heartache, adventure, contentment, discomfort, uncertainty, purpose, self-sacrifice, wisdom, sanctification, friendship, family, all for God's glory.
