Textile Shopping: Helping Rural Rajastani Women

The textiles of Rajastan State catch my attention every time I walk by a shop displaying them... which is about every 20 feet. And while we usually have to fend off the shop owners from kidnapping us into their shop, this woman got my attention right away.

Bobby runs Bellisima with her brother - an organization set up in the villages of Rajastan to help women in need. There are over 250 women who work sewing textiles. The textiles are sold in this shop in Jaisalmer and the money sent back to the women.



Bobby and I with some beautiful wall hangings

Girls in Rajastani villages are often married off by age 15, and while child brides are technically illegal in India, there are so many things that fly under the radar in the name of religion and tradition. Often, these girls are married to older men and in India tradition, they leave their home/village and move into the home of the husband's family. Depending on how large his family is and how many of his brothers' children live in the home, these chaotic homes can have like, 30 people living in them. If their husband dies, the woman is then kicked out of the home with her children and finds herself young, uneducated, poor and left on the street. They are not allowed to re-marry.

These are the women that sew these tapestries.

They are paid by the inch and the quality of work. In the photo above of Bobby and I, she is holding a piece done by a Muslim woman, where the entire wall hanging is done stitch by stitch. It would have taken one woman 9 months to complete. Mine is done by a Hindu woman and would have taken 1 month. Still an incredible amount of time to invest in one product. The one I am holding sells for approx $10 while the Muslim one is approx. $50.

They use their earnings to provide housing for themselves and the children, food and education for their children. Bellisima holds them accountable on educating their children.



Some women working on textiles (taken from website)

 They have a little website with more photos: http://bellissimafort.blogspot.in/2011_11_01_archive.html

We spent about 45 minutes in that shop with Bobby talking and looking at wall hangings. I may have done a little Christmas shopping there too! I love finding gems like this shop and supporting the work!





50 000 Camels, one town.

When we heard that we were close to a little town called Pushkar during their Camel Fair, we figured we HAD to go - what the heck was a camel fair?

This is what we found out:

Every year for about a week, a tent city is build in the desert outside of Pushkar where 50 000 camels and horses are brought from all over the state to do business, compete and perform. There are camel races, camel dance contests and camel competitions for height/size/capabilities etc. We found out an adult camel costs the equivalent of $400! ...and we figure that in camel families, it would be a big deal to give/receive a camel as part of a bride dowry. Picture it... "Marry my daughter, give her a good life, I give your family my 10 best camels." HA. 

So this town is buzzing right now: 200 000 people, both Indian and foreigner come every year - this means busy streets, guesthouse prices are 5x more and shop owners won't settle for regular prices. Other than that, this town is super chilled out, on a holy lake and full of hippie garb. It is strictly vegetarian - town rules. Not even eggs are allowed. There is even a sign that says "No Smooching, No Hugging". Ooooh Pushkar!

The tent city

Camels!... chillin'.

Soooo many!

The camel dancing competition

Screwing in the Bollywood lightbulbs, on his camel. 

Three more days til we ride these guys across a desert!

Taj Mahal and the Land of the Kings

Well, after 3 weeks in Varanasi, we're on the road again for the next month! It's been an adventure so far... for a while we didn't think anything was going to go as planned in India.

 

Our plan was to go to a National Park/tiger reserve. We took a 9hr train, got picked up in this teeny little town at 10:30, and drove 2hrs to the park. We found out the next day that this year the government changed regulations so that only a third of the amount of tourists were allowed in the park. So, that means that now the big hotels buy all the permits in blocks and little guys like us on a budget don't have a chance in the world of getting the permit. So... that left us doing this at our guesthouse for two days:

 

our little cottage guesthouse

We didn't mind TOO much, as the fresh air and greenery was very refreshing from the big city. I just had to watch out for the massive monkeys with ginourmous tails. I have developed a legit fear of them since one jumped at my face through a window (the bars stopped him) in Varanasi!!

Then we took an overnight train and spent 14hrs cramped like this... gotta love sleeper class. This is one level up from our initial general seating tickets when we first arrived in India!

Andrew faking a smile - he wasn't comfortable at all.

We made it to the infamous Taj Mahal. Big bonus: it was incidently World Heritage Day and admission was free! Saved ourselves $46 in fees this day, whoo hoo!
The Taj was pretty cool. The most incredible part was the insane arcitecture. It was built in the 1600s and the WHOLE THING IS SOLID MARBLE. It is almost all etched with intricate carvings, studded with precious gems. Amazing.

Even more cool, was the Agra Fort. It is over 1000 years old! The walls are 30m high and used to be surrounded by a river, and where the river ended, a crocidile infested moat. I can't even describe how massive it was. The history is insane: centuries of people groups fighting to hold the fort, dozens of different rulings. There were thrones from sultans from different rulings, and the man who built the Taj for his deseased wife was actually inprisoned in the fort by his son for the last 8yrs of his life. His inprisonment was overlooking the Taj.
Here we are in one of the gardens:

Today and tomorrow we are in Jaipur. It was so hard to get here - we had to take a train where the tickets cost 3x more than our regular ones because the only seats open were in a higher class. But it was amazing, we're talking provided bedding, AC, pillow, curtains and they came to sweep the garbage off the floor. I wished it was more than 5hrs, lol.
Jaipur is in the state of Rajasthan, in West India. It borders Pakistan. It translates to "Land of Kings", so you can imagine the royal history here. We will be here for the next week, and as tourist have been joking, our time will consist of "palace-fort-temple-palace-fort-temple".

At the top of a tower overlooking Jaipur

Outside the City Palace

Tomorrow we are going to a[nother] fort, one of which we can probably ride an elephant to get to the top! Also seeing a temple and another fort... haha.
Jaipur has amaaaazing shopping! And it's not in overwhelming, dirty, 20million-people-in-1sq-km! There are streets and shops and easy bartering... mmm. My pack got mighty heavier after today... and I'm happy to say that I now have an anklette on each ankle. Back story: in Varanasi, I bought one silver anklette and wore it proudly... til Melissa's national friend asked her in Hindi why I'm only wearing one - one means that you are a prositute. Shoooot. So I happily reclaimed status back today, and and double jingly now :)

And, what's funny about Jaipur, is this: I've aquired enough "Indian-garb" to blend in: traditional clothing and my signs of marriage (red marking on my forehead, bangles on wrists, toe rings and anklette(s). BUT I had more people comment to me today that "You are Indian?"... "You live in India?"... "You married in India?"... "You look Indian madam!"...than I had in Varanasi! These people are used to white people looking western and so now I stand out because I look Indian. I can't win!

EXCITING NEWS:
We made the decision: one can only take so much temple-fort-palace touring, so we splurged and bought flights to Goa, South India to live on the beach for a week in a hut! We contemplated: 30+ hrs on the train each way, or 3hr flights. It was a multi-day debate, but the flights won out! Dec 3 we fly south... CAN NOT WAIT!

Til then... temple-fort-palace, temple-fort-palace...

Rice Fields & Hospitals

About an hour out of Varanasi, there is Christian run hospital and compound that is committed to serving the lowest, poorest caste of India, the Dalit people. These are India’s Untouchables, people considered lower than animals, and treated so too. They would never be able to afford to see a doctor or have any medical treatment. Their education is so limited on healthy living, so you can imagine the illnesses and health issues that arise in their communities.

The Kachhwa hospital is located on a large compound that houses all the workers, both national and international, has centers for sewing and electrical classes and has numerous sports courts – all surrounded by big beautiful green trees and a pond stocked with fish and swans. It is an amazing place!

They have minor and major operating rooms, a general ward and eye and dental services. They do everything from ultrasounds to surgery to snake bite treatment; it is known as “the snake bite hospital”, as they usually receive at least one snake bite victim a day from surrounding villages.

By Western standards, their equipment would seem primitive and outdated, but they make it work. I know my sister and nursing friends will get a kick out of the hospital photos – the operating rooms, the ward, the sterilization equipment and ventilator, as well as the general sanitization of the facility! Enjoy, ladies!

The goals of the compound are amazing. They for holistic community development, not just healthcare related. Here are a couple of them…
6000 Dalit families from 35 villages in Majhawa Block have increased awareness/knowledge about the determinants and methods to prevent diseases, the desire to seek better health, lower illness rates, improved environment/personal hygiene, access to affordable health care.
Steps:
school health training for school teachers
conduct health awareness rallies at schools
conduct village cleaning campaign
conduct hygiene promotion teaching
hand pump and toilet installation

3000 children between 5 – 15yrs from Dalit families have acquired education and 1250 illiterate adults will be functional literates.
Steps:
selecting/training teachers
enrolling students (children & adults)
conducting literacy classes
conducting parents meetings
conducting regular classes/tests/exams

After our tour of the hospital, Uncle Doug and I hopped on the motorcycle to tour the rural areas surrounding the village (call it following our rural upbringings!) After spending the last few weeks in urban, dirty, chaotic Varanasi, the countryside was incredible. Serene rice fields scattered with workers, women thrashing rice in roadside yards, tiny households, some with land, some mere shacks on the side of the road. The road was littered with villagers: women in saris, boys and girls biking home from school, men carrying bundles of rice. Everything seemed to be connected to farming; everyone was working towards the same goal. The air was clear and the land was beautiful. It was awesome to get my first non-urban glimpse of India.

Doug and I continued into the village of Kachhwa where he couldn’t help but embrace being the out of place, white tourist and driving down a very narrow valley with the motorcycle. I am certain these folks weren’t use to seeing white people at all; how exciting we must have been to them! Haha.

Back at the compound we shared dinner with the group of doctors and volunteers – the biggest pot I have ever seen in my life, full of delicious chicken biryani and raita.

A piece of humble pie: Our visits with victims of human trafficking

Twice now, Melissa and I have visited a government safe house for girls and women who have been rescued from the sex trafficking industry. The girls have been there for anywhere from two months to four years and range from age 15 to 40ish, with the majority in their mid-late teens. There are 12 girls living there right now. They have been rescued from their pimps, and until the court case is finished and they are safe, they live in this home.

Unfortunately it’s nothing fantastic. Although government funded and ran, like many things in India, there is corruption and injustice. The girls are locked into their small, dismal living area, moldy walls, roof open to the sky, with minimal activities and staff who don’t treat them with respect. 

Our first day we went, it dawned on me on the way there, that these girls may be my age. Little did I know, I, at 26, am older than most of them.  

They are children. Young girls. Teenagers. Who love to sing, watch TV, do crafts and doodle with henna. Yet I can’t imagine what horrors their lives have consisted of. 

Kidnapping.

Abuse.

Regular rape.

Fear.

Confusion.

At the mercy of their pimp.

Hopelessness.

Their stories range.

- One girl was kidnapped and sold into the sex trade by her uncle. 

- Another was a higher caste Hindu when she disobeyed her father and had a love marriage with a Muslim. Her father had the husband arrested and disowned the daughter. I'm not exactly sure how she ended up in the safe house. Now she has a one year old and has to wait a year until her court case is over and she can leave. She still wants to be married to her husband.

- Three girls are from Nepal and since rescued in India, had been smuggled over the border. They likely had been kidnapped from their villages and desperately want to go home. These girls don’t all know how old they are, but I would bet they are all under 17. They are so beautiful - very heavily burdened on my heart. The one sweet girl has so many of the same mannerisms and smiles as a youth I know in East Van. 

- One girl who is between 25 - 30 was in a very abusive marriage and through a very terrible experience, lost her two children. She has no idea where they are and desperately wants to find them. I can’t imagine.

Yesterday we went equipped with a dozen cones of henna. Melissa printed off henna art that tells a story from the Bible. So we replicated the designs a dozen times to portray the story of Jesus healing the man that was let down through the roof by his friends. It looked like traditional henna, but part represented Jesus, part represented the mat, part were the crowd and part were footprints to represent the miracle of him being healed and walking. Mel has dozens of these designs that she hopes to do with people. And who knew - I can pull off some pretty decent henna for a white girl!

Doing the henna Bible Stories

I feel it a privilege to be able to meet and love on these girls. There is so much awareness being raised in North America on sex trafficking, and it is so amazing and completely humbling to meet girls who are practically my peers who have been rescued from the industry.

India has a long way to go still. While there are some organizations dedicated to rehabilitating these girls (school, life skills, counselling, etc), the particular home that we have been visiting does not have any post-support set up. In fact, whenever the home is getting too full, and the court cases are complete, they hold mass weddings and marry these beautiful girls off. That is their way of “giving them a future”. SInce they are generally low caste and dowries are low, it is almost guaranteed that they will not be marrying a good man. This breaks my heart; these girls have so much life ahead of them. 

Today, there was an Indian lawyer there who is donating his time and work to helping these girls. He is searching for the lost children. He is trying to get the Nepali girls home. He is helping find out information. He is a good man, advocating for these girls. India needs a thousand more men like him.

I’ve left both days a little overwhelmed and in an unbelieving state of what I’ve experienced, who I’ve sat beside and sung with. I’m still in that place. I wish I could do so much more. I wish I could speak Hindi and talk with these lovely gems. I wish I could right all the wrongs that have been committed to them. I wish...

But all I can do it pray for them. For their futures, for healing, for hope. For the thousands of women who are living their lives captive, dreaming of being free.

Join me?

Melissa and I ready to make the crazy 45min scooter ride

An Arranged Marriage

We were invited over for chai with a good national friend of Jake and Melissa’s. Melissa asked them to show us their wedding photos. They were beautiful! The bride looked like royalty - the most beautiful, deep red sari, covered in sparkly decals, with intricate henna covering her hands and what looked like pounds of gold jewelry adorning her body. An India wedding has so many traditional components that I could hardly understand any of the photos, but you could tell the day was chocked full of colourful tradition and celebration with its 1000 guests. 

It was the first time they had met.

In order to get married, her family paid a dowry to his family, judging on his wealth and education. All the dowry and wedding arrangements would have been made beforehand. The bride and groom would be brought out and sat beside each other. Maybe they would steal glances at each other. But it wouldn’t be until later that they would look at each other face to face. And it would be until after the wedding that they would start to get to know each other. 

Both are from a higher caste in the four caste system in India, which has hundreds of sub-castes. Nearly everyone in their generation has their marriage arranged, and they are only a few years older than us. Love marriages are just starting to be socially accepted; before you would essentially be shunned by your family if you left and married someone that wasn’t arranged. 

They say that when their children grow up, they will be completely fine if their children want a love marriage. They will be happy to look for a spouse for their child if that’s what their child wants. It’s still common to prefer an arranged marriage. It’s the cultural norm, just as “love marriages” are normal for us. 

Jake and Mel’s friend has a sister who is 28 and unmarried. This is a big family stress, as she is “getting old”. There are three challenges to marrying her off. One, their mother died a few years ago, and it is always the mother who spearheads the search. Two, the family spent more money than planned on the first sisters’ marriage, because she married a very wealthy man. And third, she’s very picky. Haha. 

Jake and Mel have another friend who is in the second lowest caste. She cannot read or write and people in their community and caste would never have a job more than servants or labourers. An average salary would be less than $20-25 a month. When their friend’s daughter got married the other year, the dowry was over $400 - they had to take out a loan that they are still paying off. 

A little side story... Melissa took the mother-daughter shopping for a wedding sari at a store that they regularly wouldn’t be allowed to be into, because of their caste. They were allowed in because of Melissa, but the staff refused to talk to them, only Melissa. Melissa gave them a mouthful about what she thought about that, and soon the staff were bringing out chai and coca cola for the mom and daughter! They had the time of their lives, never having been in a store like that in their lives trying on saris like that. 

We saw a wedding progression on the street the other night with dozens of dressed up people hoisting lights into the air, clapping, chanting and playing instruments. Included in the progression was a brand new car covered in flowers and streamers - a part of the dowry for the groom’s parents - obviously a well off family. So while a low caste bride’s dowry would be $400, a high caste bride’s dowry would be hundreds of thousands of dollars, including cars, washing machines, water heaters, motorbike, a house, family vacations, a cow... wow. 

I had a peer in high school who was Indian and she openly talked about her future arranged marriage. We were all outraged and couldn’t imagine that future for us. When in my early twenties, I decided that I would trust my parents enough to make a fair choice on a partner for me - they knew me, my character and what would make a solid match for me. Would I have gone through with it? - I don’t know, but I don’t think it would be toooo ridiculously outrageous if it was the cultural norm. 

But here, a groom isn’t picked on character! He is picked on caste, wealth and education. He may be an abuser, a woman hater and an addict, but that would be disregarded. And the women here are so “below” the men, that so many are married into unsafe situations and have no say in how they are treated. Indian men so often do not grow to love their wives and the wives live their life in misery. 

But that original couple that I wrote about? They’ve been married five years. They have two children. And they have grown to love each other, take care of each other, respect each other and share life together. It’s a whole different marriage journey that anything a westerner could experience. 

Arranged marriage can work.