It helps to understand the problem.

It started 4 years ago. I took some medicine for 3 months, but it didn't ever go away.
I should have gone back about 2 years ago, but I kept putting it off.
I thought I was tougher,
I thought it would go away,
I thought I could ignore it.
I figured that since medicine didn't work last time, why would I waste efforts and money on it again?
Well, 24 months of moderate annoyance and I finally hauled my butt to the doctor this morning to check out a problem I've been having with my foot.
An hour wait at the clinic, and a 15 minute chat with a friendly man who reminded me of a viking in Santa Claus' body - and I figured out what was happening with my foot, and how we could make it go away.
Huh.
Well, that was easy.

The doctor was smart. He can recognize symptoms. He knows what's going on under the surface. He knows how to fix it from the inside out, not just slap a bandaid on it. He gave me his time to answer my questions and concerns.

I walked out of the clinic knowing what was going on, and how go about fixing the problem.
CLARITY is AMAZING.

...and then: REALIZATION!
Life makes sense when we understand what's going on.
Our problems are much more manageable when we can understand what's happening.
It helps to understand the problem: physical problems, emotional problems, mental problems, spiritual problems.
First we have to realize: there is a problem here.
Then we have to admit it.
Then we should muster up enough bravery to ask for help!
It's not a weakness thing - it takes strength to reach out for answers, I've learned!
And here's the beautiful thing: we are made to help each other along.
Just as my doctor this morning was so wise in identifying my foot issue, there are people alongside us in life that have gone through similar things, wrestled through them and have claimed victory. PRAISE GOD! I don't think I know one person who has experienced life-problems and solved everything by themself. It's such a beautiful thing of community and family to share wisdom and to be strengthened, encouraged, enlightened and challenged by brothers and sisters. HONESTLY! What a great idea! -- Thank you God!

Then, once we "get it" - the road to victory isn't so much covered in fog anymore. It could still be rocky and difficult... but not as much fog.

It takes courage.
It takes humilty.
We're not always tough enough.
Things don't always just go away.
It comes to a point where we can't ignore it anymore.
And even if people have failed us before, it's a good idea to dare to reach out again.

I dare you.
It helps to understand the problem.

< 3

LOVE!

A various mish mash of thoughts.

These weeks I have been thinking about life. As per usual. But haven't had time to write about anything yet. So, here it is.

One.
Irony: I had a really great week a couple weeks back. It was fun, so much joy and laughter was shared! And then the next week: BRICK WALL. I don't know if it was an attack or what, but it was the complete opposite of the previous week. Why does that happen?
Overwhelming.
Anxiety.
Stress.
Over-responsibility.
Unrealistic expectations.
New time commitments.
New relationship.
Low motivation, self-doubt.
Why does that happen?

Two. 
God is GOOD.
I work part time at a tutoring centre on the west side. It's great how involved parents are in their kids life - how they take initiative in their child's learning, encourage their child and celebrate their victories.
One day in particular, a little boy came out from his lesson with his tutor. His Mom was there waiting for him. His tutor briefly explained what they had covered in the lesson, including a new word that he had learned. The mother's eyes brightened and widened and a smile filled her face. Her son began to spell his new word: "w-a-s". She was exhilarated for him and you have thought that she had nothing else to be proud of, but the fact that her son knew how to spell "was".
God is GOOD - in the big AND small victories.
We are worth celebrating.

Three.
If you are within 25 feet of a computer right now (stupid thing to say, you're clearly reading this) - you could pull up your facebook homepage and read some status updates.
I've noticed, especially with the next generation (yay teenagers) that facebook statuses are sometimes more like glimpses into their secret diaries. Nothing is held back.
"Sally didn't think life could get any worse. Then today happened."
"Jackie doesn't think anyone cares about her right now."
"Tom is about to give up."
"Amy is afraid of when he dies and can't stop crying."
...it's like we need to post our thoughts.
...it's like we need people to hear us.
...we know that things will get read on facebook.
...it's like we need affirmation of some sort.

Three point five.
Oooooh affirmation.
Recognition, and affirmation.
It's SO human of us - this core desire to be heard, recognized and affirmed with what we're feeling!
At church this morning I learned about fearing God and fearing man.
Pleasing God vs. Pleasing Man.
Being rooted in God vs. Being rooted by Man.
Sustainable vs. Unsustainable.
Fulfillment vs. a Taste of Fulfillment.
I love being affirmed by people! It's so encouraging! But do I seek human-affirmation before I seek God's-approval? I think my heart deeply desires/craves God's approval. He did make me, and something about having your Creator's approval means everything. (Similar as having our parent's approval).
Human-affirmation is so much more tangible. God-affirmation is so much deeper. Resonating.
Mmmmmmmm.

Four.
Simple thought: I wonder if flowing with my busy schedule rather than resisting it would take less energy?

Five.
"Any society that commonly assumes that God will not discipline sin in this life or judge it in the next will have no fear of God and will therefore give itself increasingly to evil."

We now deserve, because we were given something we didn't deserve

you deserve to be heard.
you deserve to have my mind open to you.
you deserve to be loved.
you deserve to be held.
you deserve to have someone interested in your life!
you deserve to have grace extended to you.
you deserve to have your basic needs met.
you deserve to be able to let your guard down.
you deserve to be taken care of.
you deserve to be told the truth.
you deserve to fight.
you deserve to stop fighting.
you deserve to have your battles won.
you deserve to trust, even when it seems impossible.
you deserve your voice.
you deserve to be aware of your walls, weaknesses and hinderances.
you deserve to be able to break through those.
you deserve to be forgiven.
you deserve to be able to yell and shout.
you deserve to be able to make a difference.
you deserve to have your heart melted.
you deserve to love yourself.
you deserve to be called beautiful.
you deserve to be called good.
you deserve to know that you have built into your children's lives.
you deserve to know that you made a difference.
you deserve to know that you are part of who i am.
you deserve to rest.
you deserve be released.
you deserve peace.
you deserve appreciation.
you deserve freedom.
you deserve to be confident.
you deserve to cry.
and again, you deserve to be loved.
You are His beloved.


Surrender to it.

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. 

And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are. 

For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 

Yet God, with undeserved kindness, [aka GRACE] declares that we are righteous.

He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

-Romans 3:22-24

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.

-Ephesians 2:4-5

Grace.

...and we deserve.